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COCONUT (Kangaroo on steroids)

Posted By: Albert Steg
Date: Monday, 9 January 2017, at 4:59 p.m.

In Response To: COCONUT (Kangaroo on steroids) (Nack Ballard)

Without hearing you read it aloud, I'm having difficulty getting the second half of the jingle to "jingle" properly. You're aiming for a tetrameter (4 beats per line) and the 3rd line seems to have too many, and the final line too few. I think substituting 'less' for 'minus' might help, as will adding a word after 'shift', for something like:

FIRST you DOUBle the NEAR side MEN

Add BIG diAgonal, DOUBle agAIN

ADD diAGS, less one-o-FIVE, times THREE

Then BOUNCE back TO the MIDdles with GLEE

(the more playful 'bounce' is more gleeful than 'shift' and keeps your kangaroo in the picture).

:-)

Albert

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