| |
BGonline.org Forums
On Complaining
Posted By: Stick
Date: Wednesday, 9 July 2008, at 6:09 a.m.
I've become tired of bad beat stories whether it is backgammon or poker. We all know the ending, and nobody really cares. The person telling the story is somehow comforted in sharing his grief as everyone gives him the complimentary "oh man, that sucks" or "unreal". Constantly playing games of late I've tried to better myself by not only not complaining or whining (unless it's against Mary) but also not getting upset in the least.
Today, for eg, I played tennis against my ex tennis coach. Normally we have hard fought sets and split sets with the win going to whoever wins the battle of wills in the 3rd set. I've never been one to toss a racquet, slam a tennis ball against a fence, anything like that, I find it bad form, but I still would get frustrated. I lost the first set today 6-0, that's right, the fat goose egg. This would unhinge most ppl, esp. the tennis players I've come across of late. I'm proud to say I never budged, never got down on myself, and it makes playing tennis (and coming back to win the second set =) a lot more fun.
Below is an excerpt from a book I'm finishing up that I think the general backgammon populous could take a note or two from:
Don't Complain, Just Work Harder
Too many people go through life complaining about their problems. I've always believed that if you took one-tenth the energy you put into complaining and applied it to solving the problem, you'd be surprised by how well things can work out.
I've known some terrific non-complainers in my life. One was Sandy Blatt, my landlord during graduate school. When he was a young man, a truck backed into him while he was unloading boxes into the cellar of a building. He toppled backwards down the steps & into the cellar. "How far was the fall?" I asked. His answer was simple: "Far enough." He spent the rest of his life as a quadriplegic.
Sandy had been a phenomenal athlete, and at the time of the accident, he was engaged to be married. He didn't want to be a burden to his fiancee so he told her, "You didn't sign on for this. I'll understand if you want to back out. You can go in peace." And she did.
I met Sandy when he was in his thirties, and he just wowed me with his attitude. He had this incredible non-whining aura about him. He had worked hard & become a licensed marriage counselor. He got married & adopted children. And when he talked about his medical issues, he did so matter-of-factly. He once explained to me that temperature changes were hard on quadriplegics because they can't shiver. "Pass me that blanket, will you, Randy?" he'd say. And that was it.
My favorite non-complainer of all time may be Jackie Robinson, the first African American to play Major League Baseball. He endured racism that many young people today couldn't even fathom. He knew he had to play better than the white guys, & he knew he had to work harder. So that's what he did. He vowed not to complain, even if fans spit on him.
I used to have a photo of Jackie Robinson hanging in my office, and it saddened me that so many students couldn't identify him, or knew little about him. Many never even noticed the photo. Young people raised on color TV don't spend a lot of time looking at black-and-white images.
That's too bad. There are no better role models than people like Jackie Robinson & Sandy Blatt. The message in their stories is this: Complaining does not work as a strategy. We all have finite time & energy. Any time we spend whining is unlikely to help us achieve our goals. And it won't make us happier.
| |
BGonline.org Forums is maintained by Stick with WebBBS 5.12.