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handshake

Posted By: playBunny
Date: Monday, 15 April 2013, at 6:56 a.m.

In Response To: handshake (Phil Simborg)

But to tell me that I must do what you think is polite is, in my opinion, very impolite.

I suggest that there's a difference between being told what to do and being told that not doing something has consequences, such as being perceived as impolite. The only "must" is that you must do this in order not to appear impolite. That's still a choice.

If someone says, "TY" or "good match" after every match, does it have any meaning at all? I think it means nothing.

Sure it does. It's an acknowledgement that you are a person. It's similar to the rhetorical "How are you?" on greeting. It's meaningless, in that it's the making of the sound that matters not the literal meaning, but it has effect, even if it's usually subtle or subliminal.

If someone types something more than an abbreviation at the start or end of a game then they have made an effort for you. It's a gift. It's a trivial one, to be sure, but it is a gift. It means "I have time for you. I realise that you're a person and that you may appreciate a greeting/send of. I'm not so busy that I dismiss you silently". It's wasted on a lot of people but it's appreciated, even much appreciated, by many. Depriving those people of that minor transaction does matter, to them at least, and, who knows, it may affect future dealings with them.

The abbreviated versions do not have that much value. "TY" and "gg" are much less valuable than "Thank you" and longer messages, unless someone has programmed the latter into a one-click hotkey. That's the appearance of caring but with less cost.

So yes, Stick, it does take time and effort to keep typing "Thanks" and "Good game", etc. That's the point! ;o)

- - -

If you'd like a more compelling reason than simply being nice to people... Let's say that one of these opponents was interested in backgammon lessons, either then or sometime in their future. Would they go to the person who played them at some site and ignored their messages? It's got to be less likely if that snub mattered and was remembered.

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