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handshake

Posted By: Phil Simborg
Date: Monday, 15 April 2013, at 12:12 p.m.

In Response To: handshake (playBunny)

I believe you are missing my point. When someone plays well, behaves well, doesn't complain about luck and doesn't take a ridiculous amount of time to play, I will certainly say something nice at the end of the match. I will complement them, or say good match, or thank them for playing. But if I do that, it will be because I mean it, not because it is a meaningless habit or because I am obligated to do so. And if I think my opponent was rude or inappropriate or far too slow for my liking, I will accept that they are who they are but I'm not about to thank them or compliment them.

At the beginning of the match I certainly do say hello and often wish them a good match because I do agree it is appropriate to be friendly and remind my opponent, whether live or on line, that I am a human being that is interested in a friendly, fair competition and I am not there to "kill him" or be in any way nasty or intimidating. The truth is I do fell that in backgammon I am not even competing against the person across the board as much as I am competing against myself. (That is not the case when I play tennis, gin rummy, poker, and most other games, as what I need to do to win depends greatly on what my opponent does, whereas in backgammon what I need to do to win depends mostly on my making the optimum decision for the position on the board.)

If the discussion were to be phrased differently, I think we would all be pretty much in agreement: we should be friendly and fair and courteous as the beginning, middle, and end of every match unless we have been given reason not to by our opponent. I am not about to award bad actors (and there seems to be many both on line and live) with a compliment at the end of a match. At the same time, I don't lecture and preach to people, I simply try to set a good example by my own behavior. I usually do say something nice and friendly at the end of a match, but it is not at all because it is automatic or because I have to.

Messages In This Thread

• handshake
  Donby -- Friday, 12 April 2013, at 9:36 p.m.
  • handshake
    Matt Cohn-Geier -- Friday, 12 April 2013, at 11:46 p.m.
    • handshake
      mamabear -- Saturday, 13 April 2013, at 1:21 a.m.
      • handshake
        Smcrtorchs -- Saturday, 13 April 2013, at 9:00 a.m.
      • handshake
        AdamStocks -- Sunday, 14 April 2013, at 3:24 a.m.
        • handshake
          AdamStocks -- Sunday, 14 April 2013, at 3:31 a.m.
  • handshake
    Stick -- Saturday, 13 April 2013, at 11:45 p.m.
    • handshake
      Donby -- Sunday, 14 April 2013, at 12:43 p.m.
      • handshake
        Stick -- Sunday, 14 April 2013, at 2:42 p.m.
      • handshake
        Bob koca -- Sunday, 14 April 2013, at 3:18 p.m.
      • handshake
        Timothy Chow -- Sunday, 14 April 2013, at 6:29 p.m.
    • handshake
      Tom Keith -- Sunday, 14 April 2013, at 1:38 p.m.
      • handshake
        Stick -- Sunday, 14 April 2013, at 2:38 p.m.
  • handshake
    Phil Simborg -- Sunday, 14 April 2013, at 4:14 a.m.
    • handshake
      Badduck -- Sunday, 14 April 2013, at 7:41 a.m.
    • handshake
      Donby -- Sunday, 14 April 2013, at 12:33 p.m.
      • handshake
        Phil Simborg -- Monday, 15 April 2013, at 5:57 a.m.
        • handshake
          playBunny -- Monday, 15 April 2013, at 7:07 a.m.
          • Phil's new nickname
            Chuck Bower -- Tuesday, 16 April 2013, at 4:18 p.m.
    • handshake
      Timothy Chow -- Sunday, 14 April 2013, at 6:27 p.m.
    • handshake
      playBunny -- Monday, 15 April 2013, at 6:56 a.m.
      • handshake
        falafel -- Monday, 15 April 2013, at 7:47 a.m.
      • handshake
        Phil Simborg -- Monday, 15 April 2013, at 12:12 p.m.
  • handshake
    rew -- Tuesday, 16 April 2013, at 6:02 p.m.
    • handshake
      rew -- Tuesday, 16 April 2013, at 6:06 p.m.