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BGonline.org Forums
Is bitching rude?
Posted By: Coolrey In Response To: Is bitching rude? (adambulldog)
Date: Tuesday, 24 March 2009, at 4:44 p.m.
Okay, as an expert on this particular subject... I suppose it would be instructive for me to weigh in! I know Steve Mellen is dying to know from his post.
It's normal to get mad at the dice, but abusive to berate your opponent. That is the same relationship to sportsmanship that sarcasm is to humor. It is the lowest form. In my opinion it is also a weak attempt at intimidation, and a much stronger attempt at intimidation would be to call the director over and publicly admonish your whining opponent for his bad behavior. Nearby spectators will be able to corraborate your story, and sympathize, and then instead of the good guy haveing his weekend soured by the idiot and considering not going to another ABT event, the whiner will be chastised publicly. Beat him at his own game, that would be some sweet revenge, and he deserves it.
I have found that the times when I got most mad at my opponents luck and complained the loudest... It usually turned out that I was overcompensating for my own failure to have done the right thing earlier. In other words I was deflecting the blame for my misfortune onto my opponent, when deep down I knew it had been my own fault.
An example: Leading by only 5 pips in a 100 pip race I find some excuse to double or redouble my opponent, who rightfully takes because the position turns out to actually be no double. I roll 55, and my position now becomes overwhelmingly strong. He rolls average and my advantage remains large until with two rolls left in the game, while I have 3 checkers on my ace point he rolls 66, and I roll a non double. Now with 4 checkers left, 2,1,1,1, he throws 22 or better to win the game... and I get pissed. Later in my room I will find that it was my fuck up that cost me this game, for had I not doubled a no double position I would have won the game by rolling the set of 5s. I did not deserve to win double the points because MY double/redouble was bad. I realize that I was wrong, and subconsciously over the table I believe I knew it too but got mad cuz I never seem to "get away" with it. Depending on the severity of my outburst at my sudden misfortune, I then need to make the humiliating decision whether or not I ought to apologize. How embarrassing! So, anyway, it is possible for the whiner to suffer in the aftermath at least. I have a long list of people I have apologized to over the years, and maybe a longer one of those I should have, I dunno. Let Steve Mellen be the judge.
I think that over the years I have worked at improving my demeanor over the board, and so I don't appreciate the inference by Steve Mellen later in this thread... But I am 100% sure he was smiling when he wrote it so he gets a pass.... and even if he meant it, I probably deserve it, so again he gets a pass.
So anyway, it is not likely that I am not going to bitch at ALL during our match, but usually my opponents can commiserate because I don't do it just because they hit a double shot. I reserve it for some particularly unlucky parlay of events. I ought to shut up and take it, but I am not wired that way and I need to vent... I get over it and wish the guy luck the next day when I inevitably see him. That is the best thing I can do.
The best thing, the most proactive approach, that you can do when confronted with bad behavior in a match... From a certified whiner's perspective... is to call him out! Tell him to knock it off, and call the director if he continues. Peer pressure is all you have at your disposal, because you don't really want to be sued for assault.
While I am on that subject, I think there are too many people who take advantage of social conventions these days. Nobody mouthed off in the Wild West or they might get shot. There are no consequences for being rude in todays world because idiots have learned that they are insulated from physical violence and they will say whatever they want to you, planning to sue you if you retaliate.
As an example: I can see no other reason for Paul Weaver to attack my character, or for Dave Williams to call me "his bitch". Neither of them would put up a nickel to arm wrestle me, but they are more than willing to shoot their mouths off because they can get away with it either to my face or behind my back. It's not socially acceptable for me to kick their lilly livered asses, and I am NOT going to provide either of them with any added income by virtue of a lawsuit... So they merrily mouth off, because there aren't going to be any consequences. Most people aren't like this, more should be like Adam Bennet and his dad.
That is my 2 cents on this subject, for what it is worth.
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