[ View Thread ] [ Post Response ] [ Return to Index ] [ Read Prev Msg ] [ Read Next Msg ]

BGonline.org Forums

Fizzle

Posted By: Jason Lee
Date: Wednesday, 18 May 2011, at 1:28 a.m.

I'm kind of bummed out by backgammon these days. The main problem is that I'm playing horribly. For those of you who still operate under the absurd delusion that I'm any good, I PROMISE you this is not a case of somebody who averages a 3.5, is turning in a handful of 5's, and is bemoaning that. Tony Gwynn used to complain that his swing sucked, while hitting .340. This is not what's going on here. I'm nowhere near those numbers.

I've operated for a long time under this belief that I'm good enough to compete in the Open division. I think that's still more or less true -- but I'm playing just badly enough to make me question everything.

The bots have been good for me -- but it's also an ego killer. They tell me the naked truth, and it's humbling.

I wish I had more time to play and study, but it's not happening for me. I'm in a vicious cycle right now, where I play an occasional match, but the PRs are getting worse, and that turns me off, and I just feel unmotivated to study, and my game suffers very badly.

I've spent a great deal of my life studying math, so I am perfectly well aware of how much time one must spend on something to get good at it. I've put in thousands of hours thinking about math, and I've still got huge, great gaps in my knowledge. Some people would complain that they've read all the books and still stink. I'm not making any foolish complaints like that. My problem mostly stems from not having spent enough time at it. I *know* that, and yet I still can't motivate myself to push past this.

I'm on this dangerous precipice where any of the following are possible:

  • I'll catch the bug again and start reading and studying.
  • I'll just plod along, never really getting any better or worse.
  • I'll quit playing and even thinking about the game for a while. (A month? 6 months? A year?)
  • I'll quit playing for good. The Taki board will go into the back of a closet and emerge in 20 years to exclamations of, "Oh wow, look at this thing."

Advice is ok, but please, please... No sympathy or pep talks. I'm just venting. This sucks... I really sound like a crybaby. Blah.

JLee

Messages In This Thread

 

Post Response
Your Name:
Your E-Mail Address:
Subject:
Message:

If necessary, enter your password below:

Password:
 

 

[ View Thread ] [ Post Response ] [ Return to Index ] [ Read Prev Msg ] [ Read Next Msg ]

BGonline.org Forums is maintained by Stick with WebBBS 5.12.