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Cyprus fuckery abounded (long as hell post)

Posted By: Carter Mattig
Date: Thursday, 12 March 2015, at 2:22 p.m.

So, I waited for a few days to get over the jet lag before making this post and ruminate a bit about the Cyprus tournament run by Avraham Eytan since I tend to let things flow without filters. I will start from my experience, and go from there. It takes awhile to get to Northern Cyprus fro the states. I knew that; I went to the one the previous October run by Arda Findikoglu, and it was everything you could possibly want. Large amount of players, expertly run, added money, lovely hotel. Knowing Eytan from the scene, I expected the same type of experience. Not even close.

I arrived after 20+ hours of transit (including waiting on a plane of delayed Romanian players) so I showed up at the 9pm freeroll at 9:03. I was promptly informed that sorry, we made the draw, no space in the freeroll. Ok, I get that. Even though it was the fault of the td and hotel for waiting an extra hour and a half for others at the airport, shit happens. However, if then you start doing buybacks for 90 euro a pop 5 minutes after the draw, why would you not put in someone who just traveled 20+ hours that costs you nothing and would probably buy back anyway? When asked, he said "nope, can't do it. I'll lose money." And so the fuckery begins...

What would be the first thing you would do if you wanted to have a progressive consolation? Probably know how to run a progressive consolation draw sheet ranks in the top 5, right? Thankfully Steen Gronbech stepped in and fixed that for him. Intermediates were not so lucky however...hey, I made it to the main final 8 and lost What now? Well, how about a handshake because you didn't cash, but you don't get into consolation either. Thanks for playing. Final 4? Again, no conso, no cash, but this time you get a trophy. Next time make the finals sucker.

Money talks tho...but when you post money, you really should stick to it. Not grab 200 euro from the added from the team tournament to put in the ladies after posting. Some other money shit went down too, but the players who talked to me asked not to be named, so I will leave it alone. Nickle and diming abounded however...the free roll that turned into a jackpot with an expected prize pool of 30,000 euros fell 20,000 short. And ended at 4:30 am after the tournament was over. Time management was not a priority here.

Can I talk briefly about the music? If you are going to play music during a tournament, which I don't mind, can you put more than 25 songs on the fucking playlist? Since that is about an hour and a half, you will hear Freak out and YMCA at least 36 way more times than is allowed by the Geneva convention in a combat situation. The sound engineer was kind enough to let me start to rectify the problem..until hotel security stopped me and put on turkish dance hits vol 2 (literally all techno, all the time).

I was approached to do the commentary on the finals (Ray Fogerlund ended up doing them and did a superb job by the way) by Eytan...but a few Danes pointed out giving me a platform and a microphone may not be in the best interest of the tournament. Agreed.

And as much as I like Romanian "interpretive" dancers...you may be sending a mixed message on International women's day by having them close your event. They were great, but maybe stopping the event earlier in the to give all the ladies present champagne and gifts then close with strippers may be a weird juxtaposition?

In closing, I want to express what a great venue it is...beautiful hotel, amazingly cheap, wonderful spa service, all the food and drink you could ask for for $75 a day with a roommate. You put a great tournament director in (like Arda will be in November) and I am back, and will be. I encourage people to go if they haven't tried it yet; it's like the legends of tournaments past with added money, hundreds of players, and an incredibly well run event. Now,please, let the slagging over this post commence!

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