| |
BGonline.org Forums
Positive feedback? (Long post)
Posted By: Chuck Bower In Response To: Bad Behavior in Michigan (Jason Lee)
Date: Tuesday, 7 July 2009, at 6:02 p.m.
Since I'm writing a long post anyway, I'll start with a prologue. Back in the 70's when I played bridge one of the (many) top writers was Fred Karpin. I was told by an acquaintance of his that Karpin wrote a detailed book about cheating at bridge. Afterward he decided not to publish it because he feared that rather than preventing cheating (by making non-cheaters aware of the tricks), it would instead increase the amount of (undetected) cheating. AFAIK the book was never published. I have some slight concern writing this, but my experience is that cheaters will find a way to cheat, regardless. (And what I'm talking about isn't cheating, but IMO is related to bad sportsmanship, sometimes given the too soft term of "gamesmanship".)
For those outside the US, a major domestic air carrier is Southwest Airlines. They happen to be my favorite for many reasons, but the biggest one is the friendly, positive, accomodating and respectful attitude of their employees, particularly towards the customers. (Imagine that in the 21st century.) A unique practice of SWA is rather than assigning seats, it's first-come, first-served (with minor exceptions). When you get on the plane, any unoccupied seat is yours for the taking.
I was flying Albuquerque-->Indy (worksite - home) when the following incident occurred. I was about 90th in line (you get in line by order of acquiring your boarding pass, either online or at the counter) when about six people traveling together got in line a few positions in front of me. I could see their boarding pass numbers and most (maybe all) were supposed to be in line behind me. I did nothing figuring the gate attendant would 'correct' the situation. She didn't (unusual, I believe). So when I got to her I asked about the number of people she had just let on (incorrectly) ahead of me and she said "oh, yes, they were all traveling with that elderly lady who was in the right place in line..." at which I half-jokingly responded "well, next time I travel SWA I'll make sure to bring an old lady with me" and we both laughed. Point made without being an a-hole, I figured/hoped.
So, I'm a bit annoyed. I always try to get a seat in or close to the wing exits because I've heard (60 Minutes TV show) that those are the most likely passengers to survive a crash. (Always trying to play the percentages. :) So when I get to those rows, there was flight attendant whom I greeted and she said "don't let anyone say it to the contrary, the open seats are available" which seemed a bit odd. So I look left and right and see there is one on either side of the aisle in the true window exit rows. Just like having a near meaningless deuce to play when way behind in the bearin, I fear I'm going to go into the tank. So I just picked one at random (on the LH side) and told the person whose computer was sitting there "I'll take that seat". He replied "you should take the one on the other side of the aisle; it's better." OK, strike two and I'm not waiting for strike three. I inform him that on SWA, any unoccupied seat is fair game and I've chosen my seat. He huffs and moves his computer so I sit down. Then I notice his water bottle and chips in my seatpocket so I ask them if they were his. More huffing and puffing "so, you're going to be difficult?" is his response. Then he whines about his seat pocket being way far ahead of him (his was a seat with not seat immediately in front of him) and I told him I didn't mind moving it up there and would even retrieve it for him when he needed it. So he moves his crap and then positions himself in his seat so that his right arm is very noticeably extended into my space, basically pushing up against me so that I have to sit awkwardly. Now, rather than to continue, I decide to see just how long this discomfort (for me but also for him) would last. I can handle a little pain for a long time if I'm making my point, AND testing someone else's pain threshold in the process.
So what does this have to do with BG? I'm almost there. :) Well, I'm pretty steamed now, blood pressure risen, heart beating about twice the rest rate. I take the airline magazine out of the seatpocket and proceed to one of the puzzles -- a Japanese puzzle with some similarities to Sudoku -- boxes where you put X's staying within some rules. Turns out just 10 days prior I had worked this exact same puzzle on another SWA flight. I recalled later that the first time it took me about 10 minutes to complete the puzzle. So I start looking at it and I can't seem to get started. 20 minutes later I haven't entered the first X! I had already seen this puzzle and finished it in half the time it's taking me to make the first play. As Stick likes to say, WtF?
So now you see my point. When I'm so agitated as to be in fight-or-flight mode, the part of my brain that does problem solving is nearly shut down. Maybe that's not the case for everyone, I don't know. The key is to train yourself to avoid getting into this mode. It helps your opponent and shortens your life. (That's what my subject line refers to. Bullies get positive reinforcement when their subjects react in this manner.) Just another skill one needs to develop at the BG table. Yes, call the director when necessary but either way, don't get rattled. Easy to say and difficult to execute (for some of us, anyway) but LEARN TO DO IT. One of the best ways to counter a bully is to keep your cool. That's not what they want nor expect and when it happens they are the ones who go into brain-dead mode. Tilt!
Oh, and BTW, the guy moved his arm after about 10 minutes. I could have handled the situation better, I realized afterward. But that's easy to say with the new experience. Next time... I'm learning.
| |
BGonline.org Forums is maintained by Stick with WebBBS 5.12.